Loki vs Katy
by Sherlocked Gallifreyan
Summary: ABANDONED. Essentially, Loki gets stuck baby sitting his niece. OOCness abounds.
1. Chapter 1

A/N Well... This is my first shot at it. I don't know if I should continue it or not... I'll leave that up to you. I appreciate all sorts of comments, good and bad. And please, if you find a grammatical error that I overlooked, tell me. (I'm sorry if anyone else has had this idea. I don't mean to copy anyone... o.O)

Loki had never understood the world's fascination with babies and little children. Frankly, he found them a little terrifying. And so when Thor burst into his study, Loki nearly fell out of his chair. There, cradled in Thor's massive arms, was probably the tiniest little bundle Loki had ever seen.

"What is that?" he asked in shock.

"Your niece, Loki," Thor said, beaming.

"My what now?" Loki asked.

"Your niece, Katy," Thor said, holding the little bundle out to Loki. Frowning in confusion, Loki took Katy. Not quite sure how to hold her, he held her like a cat, one hand supporting the top half, the other, the bottom half. "No, no. Not like that. Like this." Thor moved Loki's arms so he was holding Katy properly.

_Now what? _Loki wondered. _I don't want to hold her, but if I give her back, Thor will be offended. I can never win with him, can I?_ Katy made a strange sound, and Loki stared at her, afraid of what might come out of her. _Forget offending Thor,_ he realized. _I don't want to hold her._

"Thank you for bringing her, Thor," Loki said. "But if you can't tell…" He gestured to his book as he spoke. "I'm busy."

"Oh," Thor said, as if realizing that he had interrupted whatever Loki had been doing. "I'm sorry. I'll just take her and leave you to your books. Good night, brother."

"Good night, Thor," Loki said, glad to be alone again.

"Miaow?" his cat, Sky, asked.

"I don't know either, Sky," he said, picking her up. "I just hope Thor never asks me to baby sit. But now that I've said that, he probably will." He sighed. "What was I thinking, coming back?"

"Mrow," Sky scolded.

"I was talking to myself," he told her. "Not you." She flicked her tail. "Oh. So I have to make it clear I'm talking to myself? Talk in third person? Loki is talking to himself. Like that?"

"Uncle Loki, you're crazy," little Aaron said, nearly scaring Loki out of his chair. _One of these days_, Loki thought, _someone will scare me out of this chair._ "You talk to Sky like she's a person, and you talk to yourself too. And you're always reading. Only crazy people do that."

Loki had had a response ready until his nephew said that only crazy people read. "What has Thor been teaching you?" he asked, prepared response forgotten.

"Normal stuff," Aaron said. "Like useful stuff I'll use. Papa says I won't do much reading."

"If you visit Midgard, you will want to know how to read and write," Loki warned. "The Midgardians are very judgmental. Just ask your father."

"Really? Huh. Papa says the Midgardians are nice and accepting," Aaron said, obviously confused by his father's more trusting nature and his jaded uncle. Out of the blue, he said, "I don't want a little sister. What if Mama and Papa stop loving me?"

Loki marked his page in the book and set it aside. "Aaron listen to me," he said. "Your mother and father will _never_ stop loving you. No matter what. Do you understand that?"

"But with Katy…"  
"Katy can't take care of herself yet. Why don't you try helping to take care of her?"

"But I don't know anything about babies!"

"You could always hide in the library."

"But then Mama and Papa would get worried when they can't find me." Aaron looked thoughtful. "So you mean that even with Katy, they'll still love me?"

Loki smiled, just a faint smile. "That's exactly what I mean. Now go, before Thor comes back and tears the door off."

"Bye!" Aaron called as he ran off.

The next morning, Loki was dragged from sleep by someone pounding on his door. Flopping out of bed, he shuffled over and opened the door. "What?" he growled. Loki was definitely _not_ a morning person, Jane reflected.

"I'm sorry to wake you up, but Thor and I need someone to watch Katy while we take Aaron to Earth to get him enrolled in school," Jane said.

"What?" Loki asked.

"Here," she said, handing him a piece of paper. "When you actually wake up, read this. Katy should sleep all day. She didn't sleep last night. But that paper will tell you what to do if she does wake up."

"Uh huh," he said, nodding, still not sure what she said.

"Thanks, Loki," she said, kissing his cheek.

As he closed the door, he realized what he had just agreed to do. "Wha-?" he asked, staring at the paper. "Note to self," he muttered. "Don't agree to anything when you first wake up." He sat down on his bed and read the note.

_Loki:_

_Sorry to do this to you, but Jane and I decided that it would be best if Katy remained here while we set up our home on Midgard. Aaron's old enough that he can help. And we know Katy is safe with you. _

_ Love, Thor._

**_Loki. As I told you, Katy should sleep all day. But if she does wake up, her bottle is in the fridge. I'm sure you can figure out how to feed her. You're smart. If her diaper needs to be changed, you should ask Frigga. And feel free to play with Katy. She's getting to the point of being restless, but she can't really crawl yet. Thank you again. 3 Jane._**

Setting the note aside, Loki walked down to the room Jane and Thor shared. Katy was in her crib, wide awake. She looked scared, and upon realizing that her mother and father were gone, she let loose a shrill cry. Loki flinched and covered his ears. Why anyone would want such a thing was far beyond him.

"Stop crying," he said. "Please? Jane didn't tell me what I should do if you started crying!" He knew it was a bad excuse, but it was true. _Maybe…_He reached out until he felt her mind. It was very primitive, with only basic emotions. The one he felt most was hunger.

"Having trouble, dear?" one of the elderly servants asked. She had known Thor and Loki since both were little.

Blushing slightly, Loki nodded. "I really don't know what to do with her," he said. "Maybe you can fix her?"

"Loki, Loki, Loki," the servant sighed. "You can't just fix a child. Don't worry about Katy. I'll take care of her. You just go about your day."

"Thank you!" he called as he rushed out of the room.

When Jane realized that Loki wasn't in his room, she decided he must be in with Katy. Checking her room, she didn't find him there, either. Nor did she find Katy. Maybe they were in the library?

The massive carved doors were open. Jane could see Loki sitting in one of the many chairs strewn throughout. Katy was on his lap, and he was reading to her, pointing at the pages. She smiled. Loki may be clueless when it came to people, especially children, but he really did try.

"Did you find them?" Thor asked when she came back.

"They're in the library," she said. "Loki's reading to her. He's a lot better with children than anyone gives him credit for."

"Does he know we're back?"

"No. I…"

"When did you get back?" Loki interrupted, carrying a sleeping Katy. "You can have her back."

"Did you have a nice day?" Jane asked.

"I've only been watching Katy for the past few hours," he admitted. "I let Cinna take care of her."

"Somehow I expected that," Thor interjected.

"Well, Katy seems to like you," Jane said as if Thor hadn't spoken.

"I honestly can't say the same thing about her yet," Loki said, turning and trudging off to his room.

Jane looked at Thor. "Did he just tell the truth?" she asked.

"He doesn't want to get stuck baby sitting again," Thor said. "So of course he's going to tell the truth here."

Not even bothering to change, Loki fell face down on his bed. Had he only watched Katy for a few hours? It certainly felt like a lot longer. He had to give credit to Jane and Thor. They put up with that crying, screaming, noisy bundle every day. Just those few hours had left him with a terrible headache.

"Never again," he muttered into his pillow.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N. Well, here's the next part. This has gone from just Loki and his niece to Loki and family/society in general. I own none of the recognized names. Once again, comments and criticism are very welcome. Kudos to HazelEyes12.

"Uncle Loki?" Katy asked. "Why do you drink coffee?"

He glared at her over the rim of the cup. It was far too early for him. But obviously not for Thor, who came into the dining room ready for the day. Loki was still in his night clothes.

"You had better have a very good reason for waking me up this early," he hissed at Thor.

"Jane's parents are visiting today," Thor said. Loki snapped awake immediately, eyes nearly popping out of his skull.

"What?" he demanded, voice rising.

"You didn't forget, did you?" Thor asked. Loki had a tendency to forget about things he didn't like. And apparently, this had slipped his mind. "You might want to get ready. They'll be here soon."

As he ran back to his room, Loki heard Katy call, "You didn't answer my question!"

"Loki? You awake?" Jane asked, rapping softly on the door.

"I think," came the harried response. Opening the door, Jane saw Loki, fully dressed, sitting on his bed, coffee cup in hand. His hair was still dripping from his shower.

"You're not even ready!" she said.

"I'm dressed," he protested.

"Your hair is still dripping," she pointed out dryly. He didn't move except to finish the coffee. She picked up the discarded towel and began drying his hair. Loki was a very different person when he first woke up. Especially if he was woken up early. "How many?" she asked.

"Thirteen," he said, yawning.

"And you're still not awake?" Jane shook her head. Loki and mornings didn't get along well at all.

"He lives," Thor said, eyeing Loki, who shuffled over to stand beside him. Aaron and Jane exchanged amused glances. Morning people both of them, they rather enjoyed Loki's antics.

Someone tugged on his sleeve. "You shouldn't drink so much coffee," Katy said. "You might get addicted and then you might die!"

"I'm already addicted," Loki muttered. "And it wouldn't be me who died."

Any further conversation was ended when Jane's mother Anna came in, followed closely by her father Brent. "I can't believe how fast they're growing," Anna said, beaming at Aaron and Katy.

Katy ran forward and hugged her Gramma. "Gramma!" she shouted.

Aaron, the more reserved, simply waved. "Hi," he said quietly.

Turning her attention to Jane, Anna's eyes widened. "And you're expecting another one?" she asked, her smile growing.

Jane rested a hand on her belly. "Yeah," she said.

"Poor Loki," Brent said. "How's he dealing with the kids?"

"Katy drives him crazy, and he and Aaron get along fine," Thor said.

"Uncle Loki's right here," Katy said. "Don't be rude! You can talk to him!"

"We can," Brent agreed, "but your uncle is no morning person. We learned that the hard way." The first time the Fosters had met their son-in-law's strange brother had been early in the morning. The Fosters were raised along the lines of, "Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise." So when a sleepy Loki had been introduced to them, they had plied him with questions and got one-word answers that sometimes made no sense. Brent, thinking Loki was being intentionally rude, had started yelling at Loki. It took Jane, Thor, and Odin to explain just why Loki was acting so odd.

Anna nodded. "It's best to wait until at least after lunch," she said.

"But he was awake earlier," Katy said, confused. "When Papa told him you were visiting, he was awake. Why did he go back to sleep?"

"That's something none of can explain, sweetheart," Jane said. "It's just how Loki is. And that in and of itself is a rather scary statement."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N. Very short. Very, very short. But comments and criticism still welcome! I do not own anyone except Katy.

Loki stared at Thor. He was covered in mud from head to toe, blonde hair tousled and tangled. "What happened to you?" he asked.

"Katy won't let Jane or me near her," Thor said, still panting.

"Get out of my room," Loki said. "You're getting mud on my desk and carpet."

"Really?" Thor asked, but he backed out. Loki joined him and shut the door.

"What's wrong with her now?"

Someone wrapped their arms around Loki's waist. "Uncle Looookiiii!" Katy's little voice wailed. "Don't let Papa cut off my finger!"

"Katy, let go of me," Loki ordered softly. She didn't budge. "Katy, Thor is not going to cut off your finger. Why would he do that?"

"'Cuz I got a splinter," she whimpered.

Prying her from his side, Loki knelt down to her level. "Can I see this horrible splinter?" he asked. Katy offered up her hand. Sure enough, there was a little sliver of wood just barely poking into her finger. When he reached for her hand, she pulled away.

"Don't cut off my finger!" she pleaded.

Biting back an annoyed response, Loki forced himself to remain patient. "Katy, I'm just going to pull that little sliver out," he said. "Now may I please have your hand?" Katy held her hand as far away as from herself as she could and looked away. Loki gently plucked the splinter from her finger.

"Aren't you gonna get the splinter?" Katy asked, looking at him.

"I already did," he said. "Now both of you go take a bath. And Thor… Oh, never mind."

Thor picked Katy up. "Thank you, Uncle Loki!" Katy chirped, back to her happy self.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N. The wonderful teenage years. Comments and criticism welcome. I own nothing.

"But why?" Katy complained. "All my friends have boyfriends. Why can't I?"

"Because your father and I said so," Jane reminded her.

"You're so mean," she wailed. "You don't love me!" She stormed off in a fit of teenage angst.

"And you still wonder why I don't want children?" Loki asked, smiling mischievously.

"Nice of you to help," Jane snapped playfully.

"Any time," Loki said.

"I can't believe she's already 16," Jane sighed. "And Aaron's already in college. But why does she want a boyfriend so badly?"

"It's a human thing," Loki said offhandedly. "Especially with her generation. She feels the need to fit in, to be the same."

"She's half-god," Jane said. "Katy can never fit in."

"No, but she can and will try." Loki shrugged. "You can't do anything about it."

"She is not getting a boyfriend!" Jane fired back.

"I'm not saying you should let her get one either. For that matter, you shouldn't. All I'm saying is that she will whine, complain, and make everyone's lives miserable. Whether you give in to her or not is up to you. I wash my hands of this matter."

Katy kicked at the ground. "It's not fair," she grumped. "Why can't I have a boyfriend? Because we said so is not a good reason!"

"Well," Loki said, watching her. "Maintaining a relationship is a lot of work. More work than you'll find you're willing to do."

"How can you say that?" she asked.

"Because I know you, Katy. I know how you behave. Thor and Jane are just trying to protect you."

"I don't need protection!" she shouted.

"Lower your voice, young lady," Loki ordered. A cold wind snapped briefly with his temper. "That statement just proves that you are too naïve and innocent to handle such a responsibility. Be glad your parents let you have such terrible friends."

"Wait, what? Did they say that?"

Loki tossed his hands in the air. "Your parents complain so often about you. They are tired of your antics. But they won't do anything. They expect it to fix itself. They want you to be like Aaron."

"I hate you!" Katy screamed at him. "I hate everyone!" She stomped off, crying.

Loki asked the gargoyles, "Did any of you understand what just happened?" Of course, they didn't respond. "Don't feel bad. Neither did I."


End file.
